I love food. I've loved it for my entire life and it represents all the joyful moments. It probably stems back to the...
September 13, 2020
Holy cow how are YOU feeling right now? Between the smokey fires (if you live on the West Coast), impending election of epic emotional proportions, and the never-ending pandemic (social distancing, mascne, financial strain, homeschooling, etc.), we are about as maxed out as you can get! On a cosmic level that good old “Mars in Retrograde” is going to screw our emotions up royally from September 9th through November 13…. I just don’t know how much more I can take. A friend of mine, who owns a clothing store, had everything damaged from smoke in the middle of the night. WTAF? What next?! Locusts?!
How do we do this?
How do we continue?
The answer is simple.
We just do.
It might be ugly and messy.
We have no choice but to put one foot in front of the other.
Let’s make a pact that we are going to give ourselves a huge break. We all get a pass during this insane roller coaster. There’s no telling what kind of emotions will be kicked up in the coming 3 months. Be gentle with yourself and your loved ones. May I make these simple suggestions to lighten your load?
1) LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS
You heard me. That goes for yourself, your marriage, your children, your family, your coworkers, the government. Lower your expectations from absolutely every aspect of your life and your world will be a much easier place to tolerate. Imagine how light you will feel if you can just let it all go? I don’t mean stop doing the dishes entirely but you know…try not to get so heated if you come home and the dishes aren’t done. Ask yourself this… What’s the worst thing that could happen if you let those dishes sit overnight? Is it really worth getting all worked up? Especially knowing that whoever your anger is pointed at is also feeling the heavy weight of our current status. Just breathe, and rather than spit lasers out of your eyeballs, give a compassionate smile. I also suggest the following:
The most hideous ugly cry you can muster. I’m a pretty good crier especially with my patients. Crying is such a fantastic release and we don’t do it enough. I also give you permission to let your kids see you cry. It’s ok for them to see that you don’t have all the answers and you’re feeling just as uncertain or vulnerable as they are. It’s an incredibly underutilized human tool of emotional expression. Now start sobbing!
3) TREAD LIGHTLY WITH SOCIAL MEDIA
This is especially hard for me at this moment. I look to social media for my news, social events, enhance my business, and connect with friends. In fact you probably are reading this because a social media platform brought you here (which I am grateful). It is a beautiful way to keep us all connected especially during big life events. There is, however, an underbelly that we cannot ignore. No matter how hard we try it is impossible to not pass judgment on others. People are also judging us and it can become an ugly game. Try not to let it be the FIRST thing you look at in the morning or the LAST thing you do before bed. It sneaks into our subconscious and can paint a negative hue on our entire day.
Again, be compassionate with yourself so please take these suggestions as merely that. I’m sending you a massive hug. We got this. It WILL pass. Mars WILL be out of retrograde. This is only temporary and you are incredibly resilient!
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Sending lots of love!
Emily Hartmann MD
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