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Don’t steer… Navigate!

Written by Emily Hartmann MD

August 12, 2020

Struggling at the moment
I’m very big into my routines which keep my ship upright. I’ve written about the importance of a routine and how it grounds us. So at the moment I’m being tested. Right now, my family and I are in between homes, waiting for our house to sell while we plan to move into a new house…. and living with my parents. My parents are amazing and are happy to have us there indefinitely. Not only is our life completely out of whack but we have the impending start of distance learning for our 3 kids! When I stand back and think about all we need to do in addition to running a busy practice (thankfully so) my head starts spinning!!! I don’t have my zen space to meditate in. The kids don’t have the routine of going back to school in the forefront to excite them and bring back some social aspect to their lives. My husband doesn’t have his yard to water which is his meditation. The pandemic limits us on activities and we are all kinda maxed out on screen time. I’m worried my kids eyeballs will explode if they watch anymore YouTube!
I’m lost at sea. In a sea of my own emotions. Self-doubt about our choices. Do we really need to move right now? At some point I’m sure my parents will want their house back. Can the kids do distance learning and we stay sane? Should we just sell everything and move to a deserted island and eat coconuts. I’ve always wanted to be the Swiss Family Robinsons. <Somehow my brain always finds a way to work in a Disney movie>
I feel so tethered to my routines and when they are out of whack my whole being is screaming for simplicity. But what the heck is that?
Must I need to only have the perfect yoga setting with mood lighting, incense burning, a little old yogi dressed in white sitting in the corner…in order to do a daily yoga practice?! Do I need my zen space to have a meditation practice? No – hells no – All I need is a place to sit quietly and I have a perfectly good car or office for that. I could even lock myself in the bathroom and no one would be the wiser. I can easily plop down my yoga mat in my office and do some sun salutations and it would take all of 10 minutes.
Do my children need to picture perfect place to set up their desk and be in their favorite new outfit? No – they will be fine. They just need a place at my parents dining room table with headphones and a semi clean t-shirt. I don’t even care if they’ve brushed their teeth or have pants on. It’s all going to be ok.
Do we need to run away to a deserted island? No – we’ve created a beautiful life here. I also absolutely love being a plastic surgeon even with the difficult days. I’m still proud as F of everything we have built and I am so blessed and honored to be here. As much as I love the idea of simplicity… life just isn’t simple! That’s where the edges are formed and the enlightenment streams. It’s where we find ourselves forced to create a better, more interesting version of ourselves, whom we would have never known otherwise.
We are defined, not by the bumps in the road, but how we navigate the terrain.
I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m not alone in these fears and self-limiting beliefs. I’m sending you all the positive vibes I possibly can. Just remember this one simple trick… Lower Your Expectations! For yourself, for your children, for their teachers, for your marriage, for your family, for your friends…and for the world at large. Especially in these pandemic times we are all just doing the best we can and let’s just give everyone and everything a pass.
I’m sending you all my love and a huge hug!
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